Knowing the death thoughts couldn't be mastered, he attempted one final gambit: to embrace them, to fold them into the texture of his sexual imaginings. Was this beauty the owner of this once-great house remembered here by some obsessive fan? Was this shrine made out of devotion for a woman who'd walked in these gardens, once upon a time? Sharpe tried to dismiss her apology, even though he had elicited it.Īh now the mysteries of this house and place began to seem more soluble. Out there, scattered through the world, there are other dark gods who have these dreams and would know why they come to us now. Yet I do not know who they are or where this outrage takes place. I see these women raped before a court of onlookers. They come to me in troubling and unwelcome visions just before I would open my eyes. Once in a dream, Mona had been sitting on the wing of a plane, smoking a cigarette as they flew through the clouds, and Gifford, terrified, had been clinging to a rope ladder.
Gifford had dreams in which Mona was always very strong, and doing things that nobody else could do, like walking on top of a high wall, and saying,Hurry up, Aunt Gifford. The point was Mona would have a freedom that Gifford never had. She could think of twenty if she tried, but she didn't. There wasn't a fit cousin for Mona to marry, now, was there? Of course there was. I was furious, but had some sense even then that anger renders one weak.Īnd Mona will have a good life! Mona will go to whatever college she wants! Mona can stay or go. The following night, as soon as I rose, I knew that there were strangers in our house.
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